What I should have done
by selfHATE
Summary: Rated PG13 for language- What I think Shinji should have done after asuka's mind-rape
1. Shinji grows a bit

Disclaimer- I don't own evangelion or anything that has to do with it. I am just borrowing it to express my ideals of what should have happened.  
  
(A/N- First fic EVER!!!!!!!!!! I know it sucks, just go easy on me)  
  
Shinji approached the huddled girl, stopping right in front of the quarantine tape. Relieved beyond belief that she was alive, but feeling overwhelmingly guilty at the fact that he could not protect her when she needed help the most.  
  
"Asuka..I-I'm really happy your safe-"  
  
"GO AWAY BAKA! I hate this, I hate myself, I hate you, I hate EVERYTHING!!!!!!!  
  
Shinji was very much taken back by this remark. He remembered her screaming for it to get out of her mind. How useless and guilty he felt for not helping her. He realized how much pain she was in and how much he doesn't want her to be like this.   
  
FUCK THE QUARANTINE! He thought to himself as he steeped over the tape and draped his arms around the disturbed German.  
  
"GET OFF OF ME HENTAI!!!! I DON'T NEED YOU PITY" She raved, desperately trying to pry him off of her but he wouldn't give.  
  
"Weather you like it or not, you need someone right now-"  
  
"I NEED NO ONE!!!!!"  
  
"asuka, I don't care what you say, i'm not leaving you, no matter what you say."  
  
"I-I... I don't need you....." she said between sobs  
  
"shhhh, just calm down, I'm here for you." The redhead gave up her struggle and just sobbed on shinji's chest. After a few minutes of silent crying, Shinji realized Asuka was asleep.  
  
Misato came up behind them about to yell at shinji for crossing the quarantine line until she realized shinji was holding a sleeping redheaded German in his arms.  
  
"punish me later Misato, lets just get her home."  
  
"O-ok...." she managed to get out. what happened to his voice?  
  
(A/N- during some episode shinji decided not to pilot any more and his has a very mature sounding voice, not the whinny little bitch voice he has most of the time)  
  
For once, Misato wasn't driving like a maniac as she drove the second and third child back to their filthy apartment. She seemed to have a lot on her mind, and constantly glanced over at the deep in thought third child.  
  
"um shinji?"  
  
"yes misato?"  
  
"whats with the sudden maturity and courage with asuka?"  
  
"She needs me now more than anything right now, me, not the cowardly baka-shinji she knew."  
  
"So your telling me that you just went from slight to full spine in 0.5 seconds?" Shinji laughed a bit at the statement but responded.  
  
"No, but for that instant when I realized how broken she was, o forgot all of my troubles and refused to give up on her.... I truly care about her Misato. I was afraid of caring about someone for fear of them leaving me, but I feel I can trust her."  
  
"I'm glad you can shinji." She sped away, not like her usual mad-woman like but enough to get home quickly. No more words were conversed in the car.  
  
When they arrived at the apartment, Misato mumbled "must have sleep....." before falling onto her bed. Shinji carried asuka to her room and placed her on her bed as softy as he could. She mumbled something in her sleep that shinji couldn't hear. He ignored it and used up the rest of the spine he had and kissed her on the forehead before quietly leaving her room. As the doors closed, a certain second child mumbled the name ".... shinji...."  
  
The next day shinji had overslept for the first time in a while. He got up and curiously checked asukas room to see that she was not in her room. "I wonder were she went" he asked the nothingness in front of him, only to receive a answer from behind him.  
  
"she went to Hikaris house" Shinji jumped after the word she.   
  
"M-Misato, don't do that." He said breathing hard. Misato seemed happy in a way that her little shinji was out of his super spine mode. Seeing this, she changed into her teasing mode. With a teasing smile she giggled and said  
  
"well well, shinji's finally going to reveal his undying love for Asuka!" sighed in a fake swooning tone, she laughed a bit and looked at the blushing boy who quickly stated  
  
"I-Its not like that Misato!,...i just.....kinda.....haa hrrr"   
  
"what was like shinji? you were kind muttering...." she quickly said trying her best to hold back from laughing  
  
"I-I-I said.... I like her...."  
  
"AWWWWW!!!!!! THATS SOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!"  
  
"MISATO!!!!!" She couldn't help it anymore, she busted up laughing.  
  
Elsewhere across town at the Horaki residence, Asuka retold her experience with the angel, replacing the reminding memories of her mother with a excuse of the angle just messing with her head. After Asuka stopped, Hikari was on the verge of tears, the quickly hugged her friend and stated  
  
"OMG i'm sorry asuka, are you all right?"  
  
"Well I am now. I just really needed to talk to someone. I don't think I could tell shinji."  
  
"Shinji? What no baka-shinji?"  
  
"No....I can't bring myself to call him that. Hell, I can't bring myself to see him anymore. Other than talking to you that was my reason for being here."  
  
"Well what happened?"  
  
Asuka retold the story of how he comforted her and how she work up half way on the car ride home to overhear shinji's reasoning for helping her only before falling back asleep and....  
  
"And what?" Hikari seemingly VERY interested in the story.  
  
"I kinda had a......dream....about him."  
  
"awww, that so cute.." Hikari said before being silenced with a shut up-death glare.  
  
"Well i'm not in control of my dreams, how is it my fault that he just happened to do some hentai things in my drea-" She stopped, realizing how much she just gave away. She turned to her friend, and looked at her dropped jaw and said "NO!! NONONONONO! Nothing like that....." She continued very much embarrassed. She felt a hand on her own and looked up at Hikari and she said.  
  
"Its ok asuka, i'm not gonna go tell anyone, i'm your friend remember?" Asuka let out a sigh of relief, but quickly went back to her embarrassed mode when she heard "so what did he do exactly?" Asuka was for lack of a better word flushed as images of her dream swept through her mind.  
  
"I-I-I can't tell you....." 


	2. and Asuka gets confused

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE 1!!!!!  
  
  
  
Shinji's eyes snapped open as he herd the loud and annoying sound of beeping in his ear.  
  
"God I hate that thing" He stated as he slowly lifted himself from his seemingly for the time, INCREDIBLY comfortably bed. "MuSt HaVe MoRe SlEeP....." he said, sounding drunk as he approached the kitchen  
  
"shinji!!! Did you get into my beers!?!?" Misato said assuming he was drunk  
  
"No...." he stated simply "please.....give.....me.......coffe......"  
  
"here" she stated handing him a large cup of the delicious morning liquid. After being awakened by the miracle that is coffee, he noticed it was quiet........too quiet. It suddenly dawned on him,   
  
"whereas asuka?!" He asked seemingly worried.  
  
"don't worry lover boy, she slept over at Hikaris house.  
  
"oh good......h-hey!!!" what's she implying? he stated in his own mind. Misato was in a fit of giggles seeing how red he was when he realized her comment. He looked at the clock and quickly ran out the door screaming his good byes to his guardian.  
  
asukas been ignoring me since the mind ra-......no, I don't even want to think about it. All that matters is that she's back, that's good enough for me Shinji was running to school when he encountered an always beautiful enigmatic albino "Rei" he said not realizing he had called her by his first name  
  
"Ikari" she stated in her normal fashion. Shinji could never help but stare at the her when he sees her. "I am glad to see you are all right"  
  
"why wouldn't I be?" He asked a bit confused  
  
"I heard Pilot Sohryu screaming at you when you went to comfort her, I felt you might have been injured, so I went to see you but you had your arms around her, why?"  
  
"well I wanted to comfort her, she was quite depressed and I felt she needed my help to make her the way she was again."  
  
"You want Pilot Sohryu to continue to abuse you?" She asked very much confused.  
  
"I don't care how she treats me, I don't care if she's mad, annoyed or all out pissed off, as long as I know she isn't sad, I can be happy in a way." Shinji looked down, seemingly going into a melancholy state of mind. Unknown to him a certain redheaded girl heard the entire conversation while walking with her friend.  
  
"aww that's so sweet-hmmhm" her voice was muffled by a hand of the German pilot.  
  
"shut up, I don't want them to know I'm here." she said in a whisper from around the corner from them.  
  
Shinji was about to walk away in his kinda sad mood when he felt arms wrapped around him. He immediately tensed up to realize rei was actually hugging him. "what are you doing?" he asked shocked.  
  
"you are depressed Shinji, I wish to see you happy, to... comfort you-" she was immediately ripped off of the confused third child to hear the screams of a infuriated red head screaming  
  
"HANDS OFF WONDER SLUT!! HE'S MINE DAMNIT!!" Instantly frozen and shocked at the words that exited her mouth. She processed the events of the past few seconds, turned beet red and ran directly to class followed by and giggling hikari.  
  
I'm not even going to ask...... a shocked shinji said only to be surprised again to see Rei back in his arms "O-Ok rei, I-I'm kinda fine now, you can let go of me." He said reaching a new level of embarrassment.  
  
All throughout class Shinji and Asuka kept making eye contact for a second and the both quickly looked away WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!!? asukas inner voice screamed. what the hell do I care if that....that...... DAMNIT WHY CAN'T I CALL HIM NAMES ANYMORE!!!!AHHHHH!!!! A flash of her dream came through her head and she immediately blushed. Usually she has dreams about kaji, or having to save Shinji's life in a eva fight, but now her dreams consist of shinji entering her room late at night and....and......... lets just say she has to change the sheets in the morning. And HOW DARE that wonder bitch try and feel up on MY SHINJI!!!.....did I just say MY shinji..... OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!!! I can't keep sleeping over at Hikaris house...... The bell for lunch rang as the class room emptied and asuka's heart stopped as shinji walked up to her desk , handed her lunch over to her, and smiled. A true warm smile. Asuka was in a stir of emotions. WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN DOES HE MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY!?!?!?! i-i-i can't feel this way for someone..... and he can't love a evil bitch like me..... The image of shinjis smile appeard in her mind. well it seems I have a chance though. I'll go talk to him.   
  
She stood and walked outside trying to find the three stooges and drag shinji from the idiocy posse, but only found two of the three. She approached the seemingly left out stooges and asked in a commanding voice "were is the baka?" why can I now offend him? maybe Its because he isn't around....   
  
"Lay off Satan, he's with Ayanami" Touji said pointing to a tree over the side of the yard. An anime style vein popped out of asukas head as she saw Rei blush a bit at something HER shinji just said. THERE I GO AGAIN!!! HE'S NOT MY SHINJI......though I would like that......... NO I DON'T!!!!!! I'M THE GREAT ASUKA LANGLY SOHRYU AND I DON'T NEED-" Three more veins popped onto asukas head as Rei slowly placed her head on shinjis shoulders. Shinjis blushing slightly on the contact, slowly relaxing and placed his head on top of hers as if he was resting. GRRRRRR WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!?!?!?! "DAMNIT WONDERSLUT!!!!!! GET OFF OF HIM!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs just realizing all the stares she was recieving and how red her face was. She quickly ran into one of the many class rooms to avoid further embarrassment. Leaving a very confused shinji sitting there wondering what just happened. "I better go help her." he said.  
  
"Be sure to comfort her like last time, she seemed to enjoy that." Rei said causing a lot of giggles from the many people who over heard. Shinji quickly followed, a bit embarrassed by the attention but determined to help asuka like he promised himself he would.  
  
(A/N- I know asuka is very ooc but don't worry, I'll put her back in character after she finds out she can no longer pilot eva.... Then its up to our newly created super-spine shinji to help her through.) 


	3. while Misato enjoys herself

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE ONE!!!!  
  
A very embarrassed Asuka runs into a empty room, hoping she can avoid Shinji for at least a little while. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!! WHY DID I SAY THAT!?!?! why the hell do I care if he goes with wondergirl?........why do I want him so much? stupid baka-shinji..... Wait, I can offend him now? GOD THIS IS CONFUSING!!!!! A very eager yet nervous Shinji runs through the hallways looking for the upset German.  
  
I have to find her... but what the hell am I gonna say to her- he was cut off by the mumbling of inaudible German curse words. well its looks like I found her, guess I can cheer her up....... I have an idea   
  
He slowly entered the room with a serious face on, he sat down across from her and folded his hands in front of his face and stared at her with a gendo-like face. Little did Asuka know, Shinji was doing his damned best not to crack up laughing. Imitating his father seemed strange to him but he knew it could hake her laugh.   
  
"Pilot Sohryu...." he said with a eerie comparison to him father " You will cease to be in your saddened mood and report to the lunch room immediately." Asuka had a shocked expression on her face. He was SO much like Gendo! But then it happened.... She heard a cough, then another, then she realized... Shinji was smiling, trying very hard to suppress his laughter.   
  
Seeing him like this made Asuka smile, more that smile, she started to laugh until she imagined Gendo actually laughing, and she couldn't help herself anymore. She was on the floor laughing. well I wanted her to laugh, but this is a bit much.... Shinji thought, peering over at the redhead, until he smiled at how beautiful she was when she was laughing. Not the cruel, making fun of him laughing, but truly enjoying herself. The bell signaling that lunch was over rang to show that the must return to the ever boring class and dreadfully tiring lectures of the 'meteor' causing second impact. She smiled and Shinji before leaving him to return to class.  
  
Rumors were flying around like crazy about Asukas sudden outburst of jealousy. She kept receiving e-mail's asking if the was interested in Ikari, some were death threats stating to stay away from Shinji since almost ALL the girls in the class wanted him, and some were just girls teasing her about her jealous rageing.  
  
Shinji noticed Asuka tilting her head down in sudden embarrassment, so he looked over at her using his best 'Gendo' look and that immediately cheered her up. I have to tell Misato about this. She will definitely get a kick out of THIS! She mused to herself. Before she realized the time, the bell to go home had rang.  
  
The walk home was to say the least, awkward. She had no idea what to say to Shinji. She wanted to thank him, for actually caring about her, for not wanting her to do something for him, just to see her smile. She had a flash back to their first kiss. Incredibly embarrassed about the fact that she enjoyed, enough to the point were she forgot to let Shinji breath...and here I though he pushed me off of him because he didn't want me.... I was so stupid Like an epiphany of sort she realized how much of a bitch she was. She hated her mother, yet she wanted her love more than anything in the world. She gasped, just like Shinji with his father....... has my pride and ego blinded my thus far?   
  
Shinji at this point realized he was about a block in front of the German woman and stopped asking, "are you all right Asuka?" Asuka tensed up, mustering all her evilness and bitch powers she had left after today (which wasn't really much) she let out a half hearted  
  
"Of course baka, i'm fine...." Shinji noticing that there was no spite, venom or true hatefullness, smiled warmly and gratefully, I truly helped her didn't I? he thought to himself.  
  
Turning away from his smiling gaze Asuka quickly hid her red face thinking why the hell does he do this to me? Why now? after all this time! but, I CAN'T be mad at him....least not for more than a few second..... she thought to herself before tensing up to the point of a stick as she felt a hand slowly caressing her shoulder. Ready to punch and the pervert who DARED to touch her that way she quickly turned her head with hate filled eyes only to meet Shinjis smile again. The anger and rage she felt vanished in the blink of an eyes as she gazed into his deep blue eyes. While only now noticing his hand still on her shoulder, she quickly escaped the awkward position as she fled to her safe room. (at this point she was less that a block away from the apartment)  
  
She quickly dove into her room and buried her face into the pillow to hid shame at the fact that I HAD A PERFECTLY GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!! but nooooo...... I just had to get all embarrassed and run away. Damnit, now I sound like the old Shinji........ 'old' Shinji, he really has changed.   
  
Her trail of thought was cut off by acceptionally loud moaning sounds coming from Misatos bed room. ewww, is Kaji here or something, the only time I wouldn't want to see him was on top of HER!   
  
"Oh Shinji that's incredible" Asuka hear, Shocked, Infuriated, and OVERWHELMINGLY jealously. "Oh my god, where did you learn to do THAT!" GRRRRR, MIIIIIISSSSSSSAAAAAATOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
"You bitch!! what kind of guardian are you!-" She busted into the room so see a Scantly clad Misato sitting in a chair with her head perked up and Shinji rubbing her back and shoulders. Asuka was at a loss for words. A BACK MASSAGE!?!?!!?!?!? I got incredibly worked up over a stupid back massage??? AND WHY THE HELL DOESN'T HE GIVE ME BACK MASSAGES!?!?!?! Only now noticing her awkward position, which wasn't helped by the ever teasing Misato.  
  
"Oh jealous are we?" Asuka tensed up again. "Don't worry, you can have him next, but first.." she turned to Shinji, "hey Shinji" she said unzipping the back of her shirt, "you think you could go a bit.... lower?" Asuka was to say the least..... Infuriated.   
  
"MISATO!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU-" She said ready to pounce, only to be cut off my two cell phones ringing at the same time, and a alarm signaling a angel attack....... 


	4. as Rei says her goodbyes

DISCLAIMER- see page 1  
  
All suited up and ready to go, Shinji has an extreme sense of paranoia. Not only did he almost loose Asuka, but he had a strange feeling about Rei. I hope I can protect them this time..  
  
"Unit 01 will stay in cryo stasis, Unit 02 will stay on stand by and Unit 00 will engage the enemy." Calmly stated by the prick that is Commander Ikari.  
  
Damn, I can't help them.... Shinji, very nervous and afraid of loosing them felt slightly safe knowing Asuka isn't out there, but equally afraid of loosing Rei. I feel so useless......  
  
"Eva Unit 00 Launch." Misato screamed over the comm. link to the blue haired enigma.   
  
As soon as Rei left to intercept the halo looking angel, it uncoiled, taking on a snake/worm like form and shoved its body into the stomach of Unit 00. Inside the cockpit, the beautiful albino was in a lot of pain as veins coarse through her body.  
  
Oh my god No!!! Shinji screamed in his head. "Father! Let me help her!"  
  
"We should not risk Unit 01, send out Unit 02." As he said that, Asuka was launched onto the battle field.  
  
"What is she doing?" Misato screamed "Asuka GO HELP REI!!!"  
  
"Ma'm, Asuka's sync ratio.... Its below 10%!!!"  
  
"What?" Miasto responded full of shock. Meanwhile inside the statue like Unit 02, Asuka had her head down in shame.  
  
"Its just won't move...it just won't move....." She said to herself.  
  
"Asuka is nothing but a target out there, bring her back and send out Unit 01." Stated the commander, not even showing the least bit of concern for his pilots.  
  
Am I so useless that they couldn't do that for me...... why wouldn't you help me Shinji.... Asuka asked herself on the verge of tears.  
  
As soon as Unit 01 arose from the ground to hopefully save the contaminated Rei saw only a beam of light flying towards his face as soon as he left the base.  
  
IKARI!!?!? Rei screamed to herself, who at the time is now crying. Is this it? Do I wish for my soul to become one with Ikari?  
  
"SIR!!!! Rei is extending her AT feild!!"  
  
"WHAT?!!? REI EJECT!!!" Misato screamed trying to convince to girl.  
  
"I can not, If I were to eject, the AT feild will cease to be..." Rei said with a hint of sadness in her voice. " Good bye Ikari" She pulled the lever, and right before the Eva exploded... An image of a smiling Gendo Ikari flashed before her eyes......and she was gone.....  
  
"REEEEIIIIII!!!!!" Both Ikaris seemed to scream, but it was too late, her time there was gone. She had sacrificed herself, to protect someone. Someone special to her, someone she felt that she loved.   
  
Shinji was emotionally destroyed. His premonition was true, Rei was gone. She was like his little sister, he loved her, he truly did. The pain of living when you know you could have done more.   
  
NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! Shinji's mind screamed at him, WHY DID SHE DO THAT!?!?!?! I WAS THERE! I COULD HAVE HELPED HER..... his mind wandered off as he realized something..... I was there..... she didn't want me to be hurt...... Rei...... Images of there first mission together flashed in his minds eye.  
  
"You won't die." The Rei in his memory told him. "I wont let you..."  
  
Shinji could not take this anymore, he broke down. He had lost the only person left who seemed to truly care about him. Someone who gave his life for him. NO! NO MORE TEARS!!!....she wouldn't want that.... she gave her life for me, I will not let her die in vain by living a pathetic life. I'll live on Rei, because of you.  
  
Though he decided not to cry anymore, the pain does not simply go away like that. He left the entry plug with a hung head and a bleeding soul. He inhaled deeply seeing as it would be his last for about 30 seconds.  
  
"OH SHINJI I'M SO SORRY!!!!!" Misato wrapping her arms around him trying to comfort the depressed boy. "S-Shinji? Whats wrong?"  
  
"AIR!!!!" He desperately screamed out. As soon as his facial color returned to normal he gave a half hearted smile and asked "Hows Asuka?" Knowing that she was once again defeated in a way that she couldn't even pilot.  
  
"She's really bad off.....Shinji were are you going?" Shinji was walking away at this point looking for the German.   
  
She's sad again...... I wont let her stay that way! He screamed in his mind looking for the second child.  
  
He heard a few sobs and a few muttered German swears and he sighed a relief and said to himself. "Asuka...." He entered the room to be greeted by a very depressed redhead.  
  
"GET OUT!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO HELP ME NOW!!!! I'M USELESS......" she choked on those last words. " I can't pilot Eva anymore..... so there's no reason for you to cheer me up since you don't need me any more." She was obviously distraught beyond compare, Eva was her life, and now her life was taken away.  
  
I already lost one person that I care about.... I won't loose the other no matter what! He swallowed all his pain and anguish over Rei's demise and wrapped his arms around Asuka. She didn't fight back like last time, but she seemed more shocked that anything.  
  
"w-why are you doing this? I have no reason to live, no purpose, I should just die right now-" She was cut off, not by a silent hush or my a word, but by Shinjis lips pressed against hers. What seemed like hours in minutes there lips parted. Asuka was at a loss for words. Before she could even think Shinji responded.  
  
"You mean everything to me Asuka. The last thing I or anyone wants is for you to die....... I lost one person I loved today, I don't want to lose the other."  
  
"So am I just a replacement of wondergirl?" She asked in a extremely depressed tone.  
  
"Rei was like a little sister to me. I loved her like I love Misato, but your different. You mean everything to me, please, please." At this point he was crying. "Don't leave me like everyone else."   
  
Asuka slowly put her arms around Shinji and the silently wept together, knowing that there not alone in the world, and that they both found someone who was just as afraid as the other to open up. Now that they found each other, nothing will be the same again....... 


	5. afterwards Shinji is depressed

DISCLAIMER- see page 1  
  
Asuka was asleep on the car ride home, very similar to what had happen a few days ago. Misato said nothing, Shinji said nothing. The only sound heard was the rain falling and the windsheild wipes brushing them away. Shinji might not have looked it at the time, but he had a lot of things on his mind.  
  
Why did I kiss her? Its not like she would actually want me. No, she only needed someone to comfort her. I'm surprised she didn't run and wash her mouth out again or hit me. Though she has changed considerably these past few days. I can't blame her though. A lot has happened to her. I've changed as well..... hopefully for the good. His mind soon wandered to the other pilot of the Evas Rei....no, not here. I will not cry here. I don't want Misato to worry about me. Tear were stinging in his eyes just thinking about the enigmatic albino. He looked over at the redhead on his shoulder sleeping. His tears faded and a smile crept across his face. She might not have, but I sure as hell enjoyed it.  
  
As Shinji carried the sleeping beauty into her room, once again she was mumbling something in her sleep, and once again Shinji ignored it. He left her room only to see Misato retreat to her own room and close the door. He entered his own room and the second the door was shut the tears fell. He began to write his emotions, if only to get them off his mind. He remembered Misato telling him that writing always helped. So he began-  
  
Tears. Tears are the manifestation on memories escaping the mind. Every tear is a bad memory, a version of what happened. Instead of leaving your mind when they escape through your eyes, they remind you of what happened, thus creating more tears, more bad memories. The loss of a loved one can be traumatic, devastating, depressing. All words to express the emotion felt when something happens when you don't want it to be that way. Yet another crack to my already broken heart. I fear I am hanging on a thread now. One more push, one more crack, and my heart will shatter and all that will be left is a black hole to absorb myself entirely. I cannot let that happen. I must find something, or someone who can heal my abused heart. But there will always be the scar......  
  
(a/n this is a mix of a few poems I actually wrote mixed with some things I made up just now. That's right all ME!!!!!)  
  
Shinji finished pouring his soul onto the paper and looked it over and realized how much of a relief it was to express that and how many stain marks there were from all the tears that had fallen on to the paper. He heard the phone ring and he ignored it. Then Misato rushed into his room screaming.  
  
"SHE'S ALIVE!!!! SHINJI!!!! REI IS ALIVE!!!!!" Before Shinji could even think, he had run out the door with Misato to go see her in the hospital.  
  
In the next room Asuka had heard what Misato had said and how fast Shinji had ran out the door to go see her. Why am I so jealous of her? He said she was like a sister to him. I wonder though..... what does Rei feel for Shinji? Asuka pondered now sitting up. On multiple occasions have I found wondergirl making a move on my Shinji!!! I said it again!!! MY Shinji! She froze and slowly collected her thought up to the part were she fell asleep in his arms. ok ok ok, I was crying, he comforted me, I yelled at him, he kissed me.......... he kissed me?!?!?!!? Asuka just now realizing what had transpired in the last few hours. GRRRR!!! I couldn't think strait!!! I should have done more.... The images of her dream flashed through her mind and she immediately blushed well maybe not THAT much more....  
  
  
  
Shinji was exited beyond compare. He was almost certain she was gone, not he was angry at himself for giving up so easily. But I saw the blast.... how could she have survived? She must look horrible..... He sunk into a depressing at the though of everyone's favorite albino girl with extreme burns and other injuries. He shook his head to escape those depressing thoughts but they wouldn't leave.   
  
They had just arrived at the hospital and Shinji quickly ran to the front desk asking for Rei Ayanami's room. He quickly shoved a NERV PERSONNEL card in her face and she said "room 313" He jetted through the hallways ran up the stairs since the elevator would take too long and saw her standing in the hallways with a eye patch and a few bandages. Before he could think his arms were wrapped around her. He was overjoyed to see her, but his heart sank into his chest when he heard.  
  
"Who are you?" Shinji was at a loss for words. Amnesia? He thought to himself.  
  
"Do you remember me? My name is Shinji Ikari."  
  
Ikari?!?! Rei's mind raced. She recognized the name for some strange reason but couldn't remember exactly were. Images of Shinji flashed before her eyes. There first battle together, the incident at her apartment, the many angel attacks the time they spent together, and above all how he was nice to her, and asked nothing in return.  
  
Rei was holding her head as if a massive headache had set in. The surge of emotions that she had not idea about, she started to remember, she became aware. Asuka, Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, Misato, Ritsuke, Maya, Aoba, Hyuga, Kozo, Gendo, "SHINJI!!!!!!" She screamed before passing out.  
  
She fell into Shinjis arms as he quickly called for help for someone, anyone to help the unconscious girl. Doctors and a few nurses heard his screams and quickly took her into and emergency room. Now Shinji's mind was racing. A smile crept onto his confused face as he thought the words She remembered.......  
  
Within minuets he was home. Shinji was not allowed to see her just yet but it seems she had fallen into a coma like state. Though he feared she might not wake up, he was on cloud 9 (or at least cloud 5 seeing as this was Shinji) He was so happy that not only was she alive, but she remembered him. He feared that he would have to go through the pain of see her right in front of him, but not being able to be like it was before, when he felt at peace.  
  
Kaji told me there were 17 angels........one more. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Kaji in a while. Wonder how he is.... Sleep soon took over his mind as his eyelids closed and he embraced the trance state that is sleeping.  
  
In the room down the hall and overly conserved Asuka was at work pondering to herself how she's gonna deal with Rei. Ok, i'm kinda happy that she's alive and all but what if she make a move on MY Shinji!??!?!? Being the way Shinji is, he might give in to her. That brush with death has made Shinji very happy to be with her. If that wonderslut takes advantage of my Shinjis kind heart than an angel couldn't protect her from me!!!!!! Now satisfied with the answer to her self asked question, she silently sneak out of room and stopped in front of the room that said 'Shinji's Lovely suit' But just in case I better remind him who he truly cares about, hehehehe She said with a sinister laugh in her inner monologue as she crept into his room and made herself comfortable next to a sleeping Shinji. 


	6. but has a suprise in the morning

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE 1!!!!!  
  
Shinji opened his eyes slightly and noticed his arm was asleep. He ignored the prickly feeling in his left arm as he checked off his usual things in the morning starting with.  
  
Familiar ceiling- check,  
  
"SHINJI WAKE UP!!!!!.......oh my head......."   
  
A hung over Misato- check,  
  
A beautiful redheaded German- check,  
  
Massive erection- check........hey wait a second!!  
  
The blood drained from his face at the realization that there was a clump of red hair next to him, snuggled up against his left arm.   
  
can't move, will wake her up. He, thought in desperation at the fact that he will never be able to live down the pervertedness of this situation if she was to wake up. Ok....I'll slowly move her off of me and-  
  
"Hey Shinji, get out of bed........... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?!?!?!?" Misato screamed as she entered the room of the poor third child. Shinji was curled up in the corner of the room, trying desperately to hide his morning happiness. "Asuka? What the hell were you doing?"  
  
"Oh, um well....you see.....um, I was sleep walking like during our sync training, and um I kinda must have slipped into his room out of instinct....."  
  
"Its been 2 months since then Asuka, you haven't done that once....wait, are you two?"  
  
"NO WAY!!!!!" They both screamed in unison.   
  
Damn it I was hoping I could sneak out before anyone could notice, and why is Shinji curled up in that corner? Hey wait a second!!!! THAT PERVERT!!! Asuka screamed in her mind.  
  
"I'll let the new lovebirds sort it out, but no morning stuff or else you'll be late for school." Misato teased walking out.  
  
"Um.... Asuka?" Shinji managed to say after 'he' calmed down. "What exactly were you doing?"  
  
Asuka was embarrassed beyond anything she has ever encountered. She tried to think of a good excuse, but her best one was already said and her bluff was called what was she to do? What am I gonna do?  
  
"Um..... Ijustwantedtobenearyoulastnightandihopedyouwouldn'tmindandi'msorry." She blurted out before leaving the room in a record 0.78 seconds.  
  
(a/n- juss in case you can't read that, which I doubt most of you can it says "I just wanted to be near you last night and I hoped you wouldn't mind and i'm sorry")  
  
"O.........k......" was all Shinji was able to say Did she say sorry? The great Asuka Lagley Sohryu apologized? I feel honored He said to himself with a smile. Well off to school.  
  
The walk to school with the children was awkward on Asuka's point of view but Shinji couldn't contain himself from smiling, he almost started to laugh until he remembered that school had been canceled due to the extreme lack of students. Ever since the 16th angel's destruction, people started to move away to Tokyo 2. This hit a bit of a nerv (no pun intended) as he realized that Touji was in the hospital, Kensuke moved and so did Hikari. He had no one to talk to.   
  
Asuka has enough of her own problems, so I shouldn't burned her with my own......  
  
An extremely angry yet embarrassed Asuka noticed Shinjis change in attitude as well as his pace and started to worry.  
  
"Shinji?" She asked. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Huh?" Shinji turn to the worried Asuka. "Oh, I'm fine......hey schools been closed right? So why don't we go somewhere?" He asked with a confident smile, thing in his mind he was shitting his pants. Please say yes!!!!!  
  
Asuka was taken back by this sudden burst of confidence. "Uh..ok." she managed to spit out. WHY THE HELL AM I SO NERVOUS AROUND HIM!?!?!?!!?!? AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Asuka very confused and her sudden change of attitude towards her fellow pilot.   
  
"Cool." Shinji said in a normal tone. YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shinji's mind cheered.   
  
They made there way down towards the arcade were Asuka repeatedly beat the living crap out of Shinji countless times. Regaining some of her ego and pride she turned to Shinji after her newest win and said, "SAY IT!!!!"  
  
Shinji looked ashamed and in a voice just loud enough for her to hear he said. "I'm your bitch and your my master......"   
  
Asuka was laughing uncontrollably. Not her usual mocking evil laugh, but a laugh that expressed that she was having fun. Shinji was smiling, very much satisfied that he was able to get Asuka out of her depressed mood. She truly is beautiful when she smiles. he mused to himself. Asuka caught site of his smiling gaze and blushed a bit.  
  
"Shinji... stop staring like that...." She trailed off a bit when she saw Shinji getting closer to her.  
  
"I can't help it, your truly beautiful when you laugh like that." Shinji said one again hiding the fact that he was ready to take a download. (a shit for all you people who don't know)  
  
"W-Well, um t-thank you-" She was cut off as Shinji for the second time initiated a kiss with the German girl.  
  
During the entire time of the kiss Shinji's mind was screaming. ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN BECAUSE YOUR GONNA DIE!!!!! shit, she's gonna kill me....  
  
Meanwhile Asuka's mind was thinking a similar thought. HOW DARE HE!?!?! I'm gonna kill him- is that his tongue. Asuka quickly melted into the kiss as the felt his tongue slide into her mouth.  
  
holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!!!! Is she kissing back!?!?! wait is that HER tongue!?!? Shinji's mind screamed.  
  
Eventually there minds both shut and just enjoyed the kiss. When it broke all they could do was just stare at each other. Little did they know, a certain gray haired pilot was watching from the corner of the arcade.  
  
"My, my Shinji Ikari." He said to himself. "I had no idea you would try something like that." He stated as he walked away whistling a familiar song......  
  
(A/N- Quick thing, This is my first attempt at writing ANYTHING other that book reports. I'd just like to truly thank everyone who reviewed and everyone who pointed out things that were bad. Thank you very much for support and I'll be working on the next chapter as soon as I think of something.) 


	7. and a message is left on the machine

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE 1  
  
Shinji opened his eyes only to quickly close them due to the sunlight that had poured into the room. Once again his arm was asleep. For the past three days they had slept in the same bed. It took them an entire day to convince Misato that they would only sleep together. He was a bit bummed by this, but waking up next to Asuka was rewarding in itself. He brushed a few strands of hair off of her face and just stared at her. One of the few times he could. Usually if he stared she would either blush and look away or yell at him to stop.  
Asuka had opened up to him these past few days. She had explained what had happened to her in the past and Shinji explained his own. Neither of them had any idea how much there pasts. were the same. Asuka was getting use to being with Shinji more and had adapted back slightly to her own style of life. She never truly yelled at him or hit him, but just enough to know that Asuka was back to normal, or at least as normal as she can be.  
Shinji was taking in all that was her. He had been staring at her for a good 45 minuets and only took his eyes off of her to blink. He no longer had his morning problem, if you know what I mean, and was able to enjoy his time with her free of embarrassment and shame. Unfortunately, Shinji felt a bit empty. It was great being with Asuka, but something was missing. A friend. A guy that you can just hang out with and tell them things that you just wouldn't be able to tell even the woman you love. He needed a friend. Touji and Kensuke were gone for the time being and he had no idea when he would be able to see them again.  
These thoughts and emotions gave Shinji a bit of a frown as he looked away. These thoughts of course were pushed away when he was reminded of the German girl by her moving around a bit. She slowly opened her eyes and was met with the same reaction a Shinji had not too long ago.  
"Why the hell is it so bright?" She mumbled somehow forgetting that she was sleeping with someone.  
"Because the window is open." His answer startled her. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?" He said in a joking, almost Misato like teasing.  
"No!." She said a bit angry at the teasing. "And what did I tell you about apologizing? Huh? You haven't said it in a long time and I don't want to see you as that little boy anymore."  
"The little boy is dead, only I remain." Shinji said gently stroking her face. Asuka calmed down greatly at his touch and quickly felt a gust of cold air and quickly snuggled back with Shinji for warmth. "Misato must have just left. Guess she didn't want to wake us up."  
"That's strange," Asuka said "she never passes up a opportunity to embarrass us..."  
"Lets just ignore it for the time being......what?" Shinji stopped mid sentence as he saw a vary evil look in Asukas eyes which quickly turned into soft seducing eyes.  
"Hey Shinji........ since Misato's not here......... what do you wanna do?" She said slowly stroking his legs. Shinji, still not accustomed to THAT kind of interface could only stutter...  
"Um-um...... I um don't t-think we sh-should d-d-d-do that right n-n- ooooooooooow....."Shinji said as asuka slowly went lower and lower and lower. Shinji said in his mind and he gave into her seducing.  
  
(A/N- NO DESCRIPTIONS!!!!!!! hentai.........)  
  
Sometime later in the day when they had finally decided to get out of bed, they walked over to the kitchen and Shinji made some Sausage and eggs, a good German breakfast. Asuka was impressed that Shinji knew about her favorite foods until it occurred to her that she was constantly complaining about not having German food.  
Images flashed through her minds eye of her abusive behavior towards Shinji and she went into a melancholy like state. She then felt the arms of a certain Ikari boy wrapped around her.  
"Asuka, you know I hate it when your sad like that." Shinji said trying to cheer her up.  
"I know, its just....... how can you so easily forgive me for doing that to you?"  
"Doing what?" Shinji asked kind of confused.  
"All those times I was so mean to you." She looked up at him with a deep sadness in her eyes. Shinji gently started to kiss her neck as she giggled a bit. "Hey! your not taking me seriously." She said trying not to giggle too much. "Stop that tickles."  
"Well I got you to be happy right?" She nodded her head. "You haven't him me once since the 15 angel as well as yell at me. You opened up to me and you tried to cheer me up when I was sad. I'd say your forgiven." He said with a smile on his face. Asuka smiled back and kissed his in the cheek, and said,  
"Lets go back to the arcade!"  
"Sure." Shinji agreed but the phone rang and when Shinji answered it, he learned that there will be a sync test immediately with the newly found 5th child.  
"It looks like Rei was replaced....well its time for our usual sync test." Asuka groaned at the fact that she had to get back into that tube only to tell her that she couldn't pilot anymore. "Don't worry Asuka, I'm sure you'll do fine." Shinji said Smiling, he kissed her and they went on their way. A few minuets after they left the house, the phone rang, the answering machine picked up. It was Kaji. The message started, 'Katuragi........' 


	8. and Kawrou makes his entrance

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE 1  
  
(A/N- Shinji's first person thoughts of the situation after the testing as they are given a speech by Ritsuko.)  
  
Odd. Odd is the only word I could describe him in. Odd. Kawrou Nagisa. Why did he look like Rei? The eyes, the skin..... but opposite personality, outgoing and friendly. I miss Rei. I wanted to see her smile or blush again. Though little things were a huge achievement for me. I looked over at the male albino. I felt strange in his company. Relaxed, calm, open. I felt like telling this stranger everything about myself before I even knew him. Why? The only soul that truly knows about my past and emotions is my new found happiness Asuka. Now it seems my thoughts are shifting to her.....  
In Japan, you could pick her out of a concert. Fiery red hair, cerulean blue eyes. After talking with her for a few minuets people are either disgusted by the way she is, or just focusing on her other, more likable attractions. Sad to say she has reason to believe that all boys are perverted, seeing as almost all have gone with the second choice. It came to a point were she passed judgment on me even before she knew me. Heh.... my dull and weak personality didn't help much. Now that I think of it, maybe she did always have a little thing for me, but seeing me change and give her the attention she so desperately wanted made her feeling come out. Love. Some will deny it, some will hate it, but we all need it. I choose to embrace it. Unfortunately love brings pain, were I know that Asuka will not, something's we have no control over..... The next angel.  
"Hello Shinji Ikari." The albino boy said snapping Shinji back to reality (A/N- no more first person.)  
"Oh, um hi Nagisa..."  
"Please, Kawrou will do just fine." He said with a full hearted smile.  
He thought with a slight smile. Quickly noticed his German girlfriend walk over to him.  
"Shinji, Hikari just moved back and I'm going to see her, you don't mind do you?" Asuka asked with a puppy dog face.  
"Of course not Asuka." He quickly grabbed her and brought her into a kiss. Afterwards the both blushed at the howls and cat calls from all the other employees. They forgot about them....  
After Asuka walked away to see her only true friend other that Shinji, The boy was left alone with the 5th child. Always smiling for some reason. With the absence of Kesuke and Toji, he really needed a guy to talk to. He had so much to say now that he had become accustomed to expressing himself.  
"So were do you usually go after your tests?" The new enigma said with a cheery tone.  
"Well before I started dating Asuka I went to the shower room and then home." Shinji said slightly embarrassed by Kawrou's ever happy appearance.  
"Well then lets go to the shower room." He said leaving the room.  
  
Shinji was quite a bit embarrassed to be butt naked next to a guy he had just met. Kawrou had been asking a few questions about Shinji the entire time. Shinji being the polite person he is, answered the questions truthfully. Kawrou though seemed to gracefully dodge the questions about his past. The conversation continued....  
"Well Asuka hasn't been able to synchronize very well since the last two angels but she's starting to go back to the way she was, but since you have the higher sync ratio, you might have to take her Eva in the next fight....... she won't like that at all." Shinji said slightly worried.  
"I'm not worried. From what I heard, you saved her from insanity and past trauma. This is a little task for you huh Shinji?" Kawrou asked keeping his smile.  
"Well I guess.....hey Kawrou?"  
"Yeah Shinji?"  
"Thanks."  
"For what?"  
"Simply being here for me. I really needed a friend right now. I'm glad your here." Shinji said giving a true smile.  
"Hey what are friends for?" Kawrou responded.  
Shinji thought to himself  
  
Shinji came home to find a message on the machine, but before he could press play, he say a note on the desk:  
Shinji,  
Be home later tonight, don't worry about me  
love,  
Asuka.  
Shinji could only smile at the letter, as he walked into his room and laid down with his ears plugged.  
Minuets later a seemingly drunk Miasto came walking in. Though unbeknownst to Shinji, the was not in fact drunk, but depressed. She played the message on the machine and cried and smiled as she heard Kaji say his good byes. She had done it too quick, but she knew that he loved her. She broke down crying on the desk as Shinji realized that she was in fact sober.  
"M-Miasto?" Shinji asked making sure she's OK.  
"Oh, Shinji.....I'm OK, just a bit drunk." She said between sobs. Shinji seemed to be making a habit of it so he threw his arms around her in a attempt to comfort her. It seemed to work as Misato rested her head on his chest.  
"Your not drunk and I know it." Shinji said in a soothing voice. "Know are you going to tell me what happened or are you going to just keep it inside until you explode? Trust me about this Misato, you don't want that to happen."  
Misato recalled the entire even of Kaji's real job and what he did and how she was assigned to kill him. As he heard it, Shinji could only hold her tighter. After letting the huge weight off of her shoulders, she soon fell asleep. Shinji barley brought her to her room and lied her down and left only to come face to face with a slightly pissed off German.  
"Why were you coming out of Misato's room?" She asked intently. "were you giving her another BACK MASSAGE?!?!............. Shinji?" The whole time Shinji didn't even smile. Now she was scared. "What happened?"  
The story was retold by Shinji as Asuka was reduced to tears and like Misato just minuets before her, was held by the third child. After the tears stopped Asuka went on to tell how her extreme crush of Kaji had faded and replaced with more like a older brother feeling. She was devastated by this.  
"So how's Misato taking it?" Asuka asked with concern that would have shocked anyone about two months ago.  
"Worse than you, though I'm not surprised in the least." Shinji said as he looked over at Misato's door. "Lets go to bed." And they walked off together into his room.  
  
The next day at NERV HQ a certain 5th Child looked up at the Goliath known at Eva Unit 02. He calmly stated to himself...  
"Lets start this." As the Eva Strangely activated and made its way to Terminal Dogma........ 


	9. as well as his exit

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE 1  
  
"BLOOD PATTERN BLUE! AT FIELD CONFIRMED!!." Maya yelled to her superiors. "Shinji and Unit 01 are following its decent and will catch up with it shortly."  
  
Shinji's mind was in extreme turmoil. In just a few days, Kawrou had bypassed all of Shinji's mental barriers. All his defenses and was able to talk to the real Shinji. Asuka had only done that once, and it wasn't easy. Shinji didn't care about his past and didn't care about who he really was, but an Angel?!?! He could not believe that. Then he saw him.......  
"KAWROU!!!!! You betrayed my trust!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT KAWROU?!?!!?."  
"I'm sorry Shinji but this is what I must do, You Lilum would never understand this....." The albino said as he continued his decent.  
Shinji then felt a excruciating pain in his chest as he realized that Eva Unit 02 had attacked him. "Asuka?!?!?!?!"  
"No this is me controlling it. Eva's came from adam and so did I. Thats why I could synchronies so easily with them. I don't need to be inside the plug as long as the soul of the Eva is not dominant and its soul has gone into hiding." Kawrou explained.  
Shinji fought back and stabbed his Prog knife through Unit 02's neck and this stalemate of sort lasted a while The 17th angel Tabris, formerly known as Kawrou watched. Shinji's Prog knife was sent flying into Kawrou when it was stopped by the orange glow of a AT field.  
"You have a AT Field?!?!" Shinji asked dumfounded.  
"Yes that it what you Lilum call it."  
The drop towards Terminal Dogma was at a end as all communications and monitoring of the Angel and Eva went it a halt in Central Dogma. Both Eva's crashed down on the ground. Kawrou looks on with a face of sadness. I Kawrou thought as he approached the White Giant.  
Shinji had his hands full with Unit 02 but saw Kawrou float towards the giant. " Kawrou no!!!!"  
Tabris approached the crucified being and images flashed into his head. "LILITH!?! I understand know, the lilum....." He turned around to see the purple Eva approach him. It reached out and grabbed the 17th angel only leaving his head exposed as if to kill him....... but he didn't.  
"Shinji, you should survive, not me. You are the better man. Live on, be a good man. I truly wish that all of this could have been avoided but it could not. You gave meaning to my life Shinji Ikari. Thank you"  
With that only silence consumed all. Shinji looked at his hand, wanting to squeeze, but also not wanting. With this he could save the world, save Asuka........ but kill his only true friend...... He stared at the smiling boy, so willingly accepting his own demise. Shinji pictured his father being squeezed in his palm and with that he tightened his grip, and the sickening sound of bones crushing was all that could be heard. Shinji came to the realization that he had not killed his father, but his best friend. He killed Kawrou. Kawrou. Kawrou. He smiled all the way to his death. Even as he body was crushed he never let his eye contact with Shinji go. He was gone.  
  
The Eva was being washed off with the huge sprinkler system, and his Eva's hand covered in blood. The blood of a innocent as Shinji would have put it.  
Asuka had ran as fast as she could over to HQ as soon as she received the phone call about the last angel. She hadn't asked, she really didn't care until she started running. He was facing it alone, and she had no idea what it could do, If he has fighting it, If he was loosing, If he was winning, If it was dead, If he was dead......... She had never cared about anyone like this before in her life. Now that she found someone to care for, she'd be damned if she was going to let them go.  
She arrived to see a crying Shinji curled up in a ball outside of NERV HQ. She approached the sobbing boy and was shocked. She had never seen Shinji like this before. He was broken. Tears ran down his cheek and he pressed his hand on his forehead trying to release some of his sorrow.  
"Shinji?......." Asuka asked with deep concern in her voice. Shinji immediately perked up, his eyes full of pain focused on the only other person he had opened up to.  
"Asuka......." He felt arms around him, they were so comforting to him, like his mother had done as a child. He sobbed on her shoulder "Asuka please don't leave me, please, please please don't leave me." He sobbed not being able to control his words. " I killed him....... He was my best friend, he listened to me, I could open up to him like I could with you, I had a guy to talk to," He sobs were getting worse. "And I killed him, He was and angel....... Why did he have to be an angel?!?!?" He screamed with so much hurt in his voice.  
Asuka was at a loss for words. She knew the only person whom Shinji had become accustomed to was....... Kawrou.   
"Asuka?" He had calmed down enough to be able to talk with out sobbing.  
"Shinji, I'm here and I will never leave you, I promise." Asuka responded.  
"Asuka....... I love you." Shinji said feeling he had to say that now before something happened to her like everyone else he cared about....  
Asuka was at a loss for words, He had actually said it, she was afraid he would never say those words, that he just wanted her until he was happy and would leave her like everyone else had........ She cursed herself for ever thinking about Shinji like that.  
"I love you too Shinji, Lets go home......"  
"Home........."  
  
Shinji laid in his bed, a sleeping redhead next to him and he pictured Kawrou in his minds eye. Holding him in his Eva's hand. "You gave meaning to my life Shinji Ikari. Thank you" His last words ringing in his head. Knowing that, was the only thing that let Shinji Ikari have peaceful rest.  
  
(A/N- I've been getting reviews about my grammatical errors. I'm not surprised seeing as I've never done this before and I can't spell for my life and I suck with grammar. I just happen to have a good imagination. Well If anyone would like to help me out as a pre-reader, it would be appreciated, and thanks for the offer by Sutsurike Deafu.) 


	10. and eyes open

Disclaimer- SEE PAGE 1  
  
His eyes slowly cracked open. His left arm is asleep. He smiles remembering the beautiful redhead on his arm. It was still quite early. His smile quickly faded as images of the past few days flashed before his eyes. The stinging feeling of crying without tears burned his eyes. It quickly ended though when he hard a happy greeting from his sleeping partner.  
"Hi" She had said slightly sleepy, but with a radiant smile. Even with all that had happened, he smiled truly and greeted her back.  
"Hi" he had said and in that moment all his pain went away. Love can do that to you He thought to himself. "You want anything to eat?" He asked her.  
"No, I'm comfortable just the way I am." She answered keeping that smile. The last thing he needs it to worry about me. He can't know about the dreams.... Her smile dropped a bit as she remembered the horrifying imaged of her in her Eva getting impaled by many spears, She quickly realized the frown and hid her face so he couldn't see. Shinji, not as slow as he was once before, caught the frown and proceeded with questioning.  
"What's wrong Asuka?"  
Damn it he saw She thought to herself, quickly perking up and answered "Nothing at all, just thinking." Shinji's face seemed stern and serious.  
"Asuka, recently you have helped me greatly, the only reason I'm not a self-pity wreck right now is because, you keep me sane, happy, you have made me feel what all people in the world desire..... love." Asuka was for lack of a better word surprised. She never expected him so say anything like that after his ordeal, but he continued. "I've seen your many sides, I've seen your true smiles and your fake ones, something's wrong and you WILL tell me and I WILL be here for you" He put his hand onto hers and interlocked their fingers, "now and forever" Damn that sounded so corny He thought giving a bit of an embarrassed face. Asuka giggled at this realizing how corny, yet sweet his speech was. She spoke up,  
"Its just that, after all that happened to you, that last thing I would want would be for you to cheer ME up!" She said seeming a bit guilty.  
"Just tell me Asuka" He looked at her in the eyes and quickly but passionately kissed her. She smiled happily and said,  
"Fine...." Her facial expression quickly darkened as she prepared to explain her dreams. "well, I've been having dreams, well more like night mares about my Eva. I'm fighting what looks like about 8 or 9 angels, all at once. They all look the same, and all have this odd huge blade. I beat all but one. The last one throws the blade at me and I put up my A.T field and stopped it, but it turned into one of those spears, you know, the one that saved me from......."  
"You don't have to remember that day, please, just continue." Shinji said knowing what day she was thinking about. Asuka inhaled a deep breath and continued,  
"Well it got through my field and hit me in the face......... right through the eye......." AT this point she was tearing up a bit. "I reached up calling for you, but I was met with only The rest of the spears......."  
"That's enough Asuka, don't say anymore." Shinji said after hearing enough. He started to hold her tightly after she continued to cry.  
"I'm sorry you have to bear my burden-" She was cut off but his lips pressed against hers. After they parted her tears were gone and a smile was all that was left,  
"Its an honor that I am the one that you come to with your burdens." He said, smiling as well. Nothing else was said, as they laid down in each others embrace and drifted back into sleep.  
  
Meanwhile, another set of eyes open in a hospital bed......  
"Rei, its time," The voice of Gendo Ikari said. "Time to do what you were created for."  
What I was created for...... up until now all I did was for him........now, Shinji..... Rei got out of bed and followed Gendo into the lower arenas of NERV. I now realize I am no ones doll, he thinks I don't remember anything..... She thought to herself as they approached the white Goliath.  
"Soon Rei, soon it will happen."  
  
As he said that, Troops from the JSSDF Aproached NERV HQ and prepared for an attack. A phone rang that awoke the two sleeping pilots.  
"Hello?........yeah...........well be there as soon as we can," Misato said hanging up the phone. "Kids get up, we need you down at NERV NOW!!!!" She screams immediately snapping the children back to reality. They hopped into the car, and drove up, unaware of the disaster they would unwillingly create........ 


End file.
